I was watching Iyanla's show "Fix My Life" when she stated she had lost her daughter. I went to her site to see where I could send a request for her to help "Fix My Life" but then God put it on my heart to write for her. So I looked up information regarding the passing of her daughter and I began to write:
On Christmas morning 2003, God said He was in need of angels...He was in need of me.
I sit up above the sky so high
And look down below and wonder why
The tears fill faces for us up here
Cause we smile at all times from ear to ear.
I know that it was not easy losing me
I know that on earth you would prefer that I be,
But God called my name and immediately I went
To my home in the heavens with the angels He sent.
Mom, looking down upon you...I smile
Seeing how you fix lives make me so proud.
You are an amazing woman, you are
My love still love you with all of my heart.
Whenever you want to see my face again, look at old pictures taken
When you want to feel me there, dream and old memories will start playing,
When you want to feel my hugs, the wind will wrap around you tight
And when you want to hear me say "I love you," listen as the wind blow at night.
Mom, you will always be the best mother a child could ask for
Sorry that I had to leave so soon but God was waiting at heavens door,
I just wanted to send you words to let you know I'm thinking of you
And every moment I'm with you doing what Gods angels do.
Though death bring distance, our hearts keep us close.
Love,
Gemmia
(Written by Leukemiona "Shala", 9/11/2013)
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Abort
A poem I wrote in May 2011 about abortion.
I just didn't know what to do
Couldn't stand the thought of you
Growing inside me
Taking away from the "FREE" life that I have
So I was given no choice
My whole family pissed
And...
Mama won't let me tell my daddy
She say that if we get it ova with no one will have to know
I don't want the embarrassment
The humiliation
Them knowing that I'm with child
Not wanting the possibility of never graduating
Choices...
I have them
But what do I do
It's either keep you or abort you
The opportunity to give you away or spoil you
I sit here
And I think it may be easier becos I don't know you
And if I never give myself the opportunity it won't matter
I will never be haunted by your face, your eyes or your laughter
I have a choice
And becos I can never be me, with you
I abort!
-Leukemiona "Shala" Daniels, 2011
I just didn't know what to do
Couldn't stand the thought of you
Growing inside me
Taking away from the "FREE" life that I have
So I was given no choice
My whole family pissed
And...
Mama won't let me tell my daddy
She say that if we get it ova with no one will have to know
I don't want the embarrassment
The humiliation
Them knowing that I'm with child
Not wanting the possibility of never graduating
Choices...
I have them
But what do I do
It's either keep you or abort you
The opportunity to give you away or spoil you
I sit here
And I think it may be easier becos I don't know you
And if I never give myself the opportunity it won't matter
I will never be haunted by your face, your eyes or your laughter
I have a choice
And becos I can never be me, with you
I abort!
-Leukemiona "Shala" Daniels, 2011
My Side of the Story
This is a poem I wrote back in 2011. I try to write what I see in this world and what if's. So I write:
I never meant to but things got outta hand
Mama started tripping out on me and these were the things she was saying...
You juss like yo' ol nuttn ass daddy
I wish I neva had ya'
You make me sick
I shoulda neva listened to the pastor
She neva showed me unconditional love
She neva taught me how to do things the responsible way
She blamed me for my father's wrong doings
She blamed me cos he wouldn't stay
One day after skool, she started rambling wit that mouth of hers
Tears started running down my cheek
Wrapped both my hands around her neck
Tighter and tighter until she couldn't speak
Neva tried calling for help
Just let her lay there, gasping for air...let her die
Didn't want to hear her bullshyt statements
Said this when the judge asked me why....
I didn't have a mother like you did
I basically raised myself
She constantly complained about how being around me sickened her
She said that she wished the abortion clinic is where I was left
I juss couldn't keep listening to it
I was about to commit suicide
Do I wish I could go back and change things
No becos we would juss be trading lives.
-Written by Leukemiona "Shala", 2011
I never meant to but things got outta hand
Mama started tripping out on me and these were the things she was saying...
You juss like yo' ol nuttn ass daddy
I wish I neva had ya'
You make me sick
I shoulda neva listened to the pastor
She neva showed me unconditional love
She neva taught me how to do things the responsible way
She blamed me for my father's wrong doings
She blamed me cos he wouldn't stay
One day after skool, she started rambling wit that mouth of hers
Tears started running down my cheek
Wrapped both my hands around her neck
Tighter and tighter until she couldn't speak
Neva tried calling for help
Just let her lay there, gasping for air...let her die
Didn't want to hear her bullshyt statements
Said this when the judge asked me why....
I didn't have a mother like you did
I basically raised myself
She constantly complained about how being around me sickened her
She said that she wished the abortion clinic is where I was left
I juss couldn't keep listening to it
I was about to commit suicide
Do I wish I could go back and change things
No becos we would juss be trading lives.
-Written by Leukemiona "Shala", 2011
I Have a Dream
I have a dream. Right now I just write...I write to help, heal and save lives. One day you will see my greeting cards on store shelves...and in my own store. I will never give up on my dream. One poem at a time. One line at a time. One letter at a time. One life at a time.
In Memory of Tiana Ricks - Gone too Soon!
I'm on Facebook and I see a post that Jayceon "The Game" Taylor had on his wall about a little girl named Tiana Ricks who was gunned down in Moreno Valley this past weekend. I cannot imagine the pain this little girls family is going through. He has started the RobinHood Project...helping others and I wanted to be apart of that and write this poem. I'm hoping I can get this to them for her obituary. So I write:
Not even a moments notice and I'm gone
God sent His angels to come and take me home.
I know that losing me like this is hard
God never make mistakes and we know this for sure.
Momma & Daddy, I know that the tears are falling fast
To be with you...is what I pray to God and ask.
To hold you in His arms until you completely heal
I know He can and He promised He will.
Though my life was cut short, it was well lived
The smile that you saw is shinning now still.
As you get ready to lay me down to rest
Know that you are not to blame...you gave me your best.
Though you may wish there was something you could've done, God knows
And when He call us by name...we all have to go.
I will be watching down upon you each moment of every day
When the pain seem to never end, bow your head and begin to pray.
Though death bring distance, our hearts keep us close.
Love,
Tiana
(Written by Leukemiona "Shala", 9/10/13)
Not even a moments notice and I'm gone
God sent His angels to come and take me home.
I know that losing me like this is hard
God never make mistakes and we know this for sure.
Momma & Daddy, I know that the tears are falling fast
To be with you...is what I pray to God and ask.
To hold you in His arms until you completely heal
I know He can and He promised He will.
Though my life was cut short, it was well lived
The smile that you saw is shinning now still.
As you get ready to lay me down to rest
Know that you are not to blame...you gave me your best.
Though you may wish there was something you could've done, God knows
And when He call us by name...we all have to go.
I will be watching down upon you each moment of every day
When the pain seem to never end, bow your head and begin to pray.
Though death bring distance, our hearts keep us close.
Love,
Tiana
(Written by Leukemiona "Shala", 9/10/13)
In Memory of Lynda
I come home this morning after being in Oklahoma a few days and watch one of my favorite tv shows, "Marrying the Game." On this episode, Tiffney (the fiance' of Jayceon "the Game" Taylor) celebrated her mother Lynda's b-day (who has passed away from cancer). I wanted to send some special words to her because it was put on my heart, so I write:
Tiffney baby, the love of my life
I am so blessed that God has given Shala the gift to write.
So blessed that I am able to send these words to you
I hope that they do what they're being written to do.
It has been about eight years since I've left the earthly grounds
Though the pain is a little less, I see the tears are still hanging around.
I love the beautiful flowers that Jayceon purchased for me
Thank you for still celebrating my day and all the nice things you do constantly.
Visiting the grounds that my body lay buried beneath
Saying "I love you" and starring down at me...
Well, down at the ground that holds my ashes and bones
As you know...my spirit has already made it's way home.
Tiff, I wish there was a way I could go back in time
A way that I could wrap you in these arms of mine.
A way that I could plant one last kiss on your cheek
A way that I could say I love you and hear you say you love me.
Baby, I love looking down seeing your beautiful smile
You are the reason my life was worthwhile.
Old memories, with those, moments to remain
And old pictures will allow you to still see my face.
God has never nor will He ever make a mistake
My purpose on earth was done therefore I could not stay.
But know that with every moment you're awake...I'm thinking of you
Flying right by your side as all of Gods angels do.
Tiff and Jay, let love do what love do
I have God and all my angel friends watching over you.
Tell my grandbabies I said I love them and give them a kiss
Until Shala write for me again, I will leave you with this.
Though death bring distance, our hearts keep us close.
Love,
Mom Lynda
(Written by Leukemiona "Shala", 9/10/13)
Tiffney baby, the love of my life
I am so blessed that God has given Shala the gift to write.
So blessed that I am able to send these words to you
I hope that they do what they're being written to do.
It has been about eight years since I've left the earthly grounds
Though the pain is a little less, I see the tears are still hanging around.
I love the beautiful flowers that Jayceon purchased for me
Thank you for still celebrating my day and all the nice things you do constantly.
Visiting the grounds that my body lay buried beneath
Saying "I love you" and starring down at me...
Well, down at the ground that holds my ashes and bones
As you know...my spirit has already made it's way home.
Tiff, I wish there was a way I could go back in time
A way that I could wrap you in these arms of mine.
A way that I could plant one last kiss on your cheek
A way that I could say I love you and hear you say you love me.
Baby, I love looking down seeing your beautiful smile
You are the reason my life was worthwhile.
Old memories, with those, moments to remain
And old pictures will allow you to still see my face.
God has never nor will He ever make a mistake
My purpose on earth was done therefore I could not stay.
But know that with every moment you're awake...I'm thinking of you
Flying right by your side as all of Gods angels do.
Tiff and Jay, let love do what love do
I have God and all my angel friends watching over you.
Tell my grandbabies I said I love them and give them a kiss
Until Shala write for me again, I will leave you with this.
Though death bring distance, our hearts keep us close.
Love,
Mom Lynda
(Written by Leukemiona "Shala", 9/10/13)
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