Poem in memory of Coates Scott aka Kayo Redd to his mother Deb Antney & brother Waka Flocka

I saw on Facebook where the brother of Waka Flocka and son of Deb Antney has passed on. I wanted to write these words in hopes that they help, heal and save. So I write:


Mama, I was looking for the words to say,
The perfect words to kinda clear up the sadness on ur face.
The words to make dealing with my death a little more easier,
But I know there's nothing I can say that's gonna stop the hurt in ya'.

Coates Scott aka Kayo Redd found dead - was the headline,
I know ur screaming loud, "No! No! It's not time."
I can see the tears in ur eyes and the wet path they leave when falling down ur face,
I can see the hurt in ur eyes...I hate I caused u so much pain.

I don't know exactly wut words I could use to explain what I did,
I really don't think there are any that could console a mother who juss lost a kid.
Mama, I neva wanted to hurt you...neva wanted to leave u feeling this way,
Came the time. Came the moment. Came a reason. Came the day.

Juss know that I love you and I juss don't have the words to explain this,
Not the words that I'm looking for to make it all a little less painless.
If I could go back in time and take a moment juss to let you know I love you and give you a hug,
Juss to see your smile, look in your eyes and feel your touch.

Waka...devastated and torn up is the way you're feeling...I know,
Thinking in that dang brain of yours..."Man...wut the phuk u go & do that fo'."
All I can say is that I'm sorry for not leaving an explanation of why,
Or betta yet taking the time to sit down and write a letter telling u & mama bye-bye.

Time heals all wounds they say...that's the selfish way of me saying u will be alright,
The pain that I felt was too much to handle...I could no longer put up the fight.
I love you dude...I always will. I juss hope one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me,
I know I'm gone and I know it's wrong to have you lose another brother...so quickly.

A hurting heart turns into pain.
A feeling of no way out crashes the brain.
Life seems to give no reason to live.
Suicide becomes easier than it is.

God loves and He comforts,
I ask that He continues to watch ova you.
God loves and He heals,
He promised to see you all the way through.

What I didn't take...Is my love,
Coates Scott "Kayo Redd"

(Written by Leukemiona "Shala" 1/2/2014)